Reflexions about life

Today, on my way to the funeral preparations , i have watched two interesting movies that have made me consider where I am at in life. “Key of life” and “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” They were both very different but both touched a raw nerve as they focussed on the human tendency to find the opportunity emerging from disaster. I also watched “To Rome with love” but despite of Woody Allen’s constant soul searching, it was too lightly stroked to my liking.

I am a non religious person and as such, i am an advocate to be the best version of yourself that you can be in this life rather than using this one as a training ground for a later one. I do think that it is worth giving everything a proper go in order to never live in regret, and even if you (reading this) have a different ideology, I am sure that you will agree that to be happy and make others happy is a rather good way of spending our time on earth.

A few weeks ago, when all begun to un-rubble, i had to cancel my weekend back home almost on arrival to face the times ahead. I had planned to spend time with my wonderful nieces and nephew as I was not sure if I’d have to give a miss to this Christmas, and with the a new plan of action, I had to let them know that I was not to pick them up from school the next day.

My eldest niece is five and five months and as soon as i said to her that i had to return to London, she asked me if it was because my mother in law was fading away. Her directness shocked me, and i was left speechless when she added “I know ” . I have never lied to her, and will never do, so I had to take the conversation forward and explain the situation.

Looking back, her preoccupation with the wellbeing of each member of the family’s was rather remarkable. She knew , for years, that there was something happening and she had even evaluated who she needed to be most worried about , concluding that it would have to be my husband. Hence, she frequently asked about his personal estate as well as his parents.

She is, needless to say, well above average intelligence but even emotionally she is so great that continues to enlighten me. I hope that one day things will be as clear for me as they are for her, and for now, I will focus on making the best of the most difficult and taking as many with me as I can, in the journey.

Photography by Cristina Lanz-Azcarate

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